About me

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Someone needs your star.

A few months ago, I was having a really hard time deciding if I wanted to go to Girls Camp or not. I was thinking that it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I didn't go because it was my last year of camp as a youth and it probably wouldn't be as great as Girls Camp in Arizona anyways. I wasn't a huge fan of how they were planning on running things just because it was different than what I was used to and I didn't want to accept the change. I was being really stubborn. Throughout my whole trip in Arizona in June, I kept saying I wasn't going to go. I was praying about it a lot and I kept getting the feeling that I should go, but I just kept ignoring it and being stubborn about it because I really didn't want to go. I was even thinking about the way I was going to tell my leaders and the other youth leaders when I got home. We got home on Saturday night and I was planning to talk to one of the girls at church the next day.

Sunday morning came and I was feeling a little uncomfortable with the decision I made to not go. I decided I would kneel down and pray about it one last time. Of course I got the impression that I needed to go. I didn't know why I needed to, but I did. So, I made the decision to go to Girls Camp--putting full trust in my Heavenly Father that there was a reason I needed to go.

I'm going to type out parts of a few of my journal entries this past week...

July 16, 2012-Day 1
Today was the hardest day I've had in a long time. My day started at 5:15. I went to the Y to work out, but I didn't eat anything before, so I got really nauseous and it was terrible. Then I went out to breakfast with my friend Heath and I just really wasn't feeling good at all. When he dropped me off at home, I still wasn't feeling good and I wasn't in a good mood at all. I was trying so hard to hold it together because I had to go to the Percival's house right away since they were driving me to camp. I was getting really teary-eyed, but I held it in. I should have just let it out. I needed to, but I didn't. So I put on a happy face and we drove to camp. I was in the back seat and no one could see me, so I had a few little crying spurts without them noticing. When I got to camp, I felt like a 1st year all over again. Everything was so new. I started missing my friends from the Arrowhead Ranch Ward. Then one of my leaders said, "Go get your permission slips so you can go canoeing!" I had no idea I needed a permission slip. At that point, I couldn't hold it together anymore. I started crying in the bathroom. Then I went into the cabin so I could cry more. My friend Allison came in and saw me crying. Eventually my leader, Sister Dunahee came in and said, "You remember a few weeks ago when I came to your ward and I made that comment to everyone about you loving bows? It's because I couldn't get you off of my mind. I couldn't figure out why, because you're such a strong girl, but now I know it was because Heavenly Father knew you were going to have a hard time here. But He wants you to be here." That was such a testimony to me that Heavenly Father knows me and loves me. My mom was able to come a few hours later to talk to me and spend some time with me.

*After the first day, I was feeling SO much better. I didn't write very much in my journal during this time because I was keeping super busy and having a lot of fun! I even taught all of the girls a few of my favorite camp songs! It was such a great feeling to hear them all singing the songs I had been hearing the past 5 years! They loved them! I had so many laughs. I had grown to love 3rd year girls so much throughout the week! They wrote little letters to us and one of my girls even made each of us picture frames with a sweet note inside. I'm so grateful for their shining example to me! Anyways, here's Friday's entry...

July 20, 2012-Day 5
I just realized that it has been exactly one year since I moved to Indiana! That is so weird!!! Time has gone by so fast. It's so amazing to me hot much I have experiences and grown this past year. It was so different--full of new trials and experiences. This year was one of the hardest ever. I'm grateful for the trials that have been mine to experience. I know they have strengthened me and helped me grow. I'm so grateful for all of the good parts about this move too. I have met so many great people. I hope I have been a good influence on the people I have met. I just can't believe it has already been one year. Dang. My life was so different last year. I was so nervous, excited, panicked, happy, sad, emotional, etc. I am so blessed!

July 21, 2012-Post Girls Camp :)
Wow! I am so blessed. Girls Camp was so amazing. On Friday they had a special activity for us. I had no idea what it was. Once it started, they separated us by ward and we walked to a part of the camp where the woods started. We stood around and sang hymns for a good half an hour. Eventually, they led us into the woods and there were speakers at each station. They all talked about light and how it compares to a testimony and they way testimonies grow. Then last speaker said, "I invite you all to go to the temple and see the people you love." There was a pathway leading to a white awning covered with lights. We all held hands as we were walking to it. As I got closer to "the temple", I saw all of my Young Women's leaders and I bursted into tears. Until that very moment, I had not felt that I belonged in my ward in Indiana. But when I saw all of my leaders standing there waiting for me to come and see them, my years worth of prayers were finally answered. It was the most INCREDIBLE feeling ever. Heavenly Father knew I was going through such a rough time--especially that week--with feeling comfortable in this new ward. I was bawling. I really can't describe the feeling, but I have never felt that much love from my Heavenly Father. As we got closer, we hugged all of our leaders and each other. I'm so grateful that this week I have learned to be at complete peace with where Heavenly Father wants me to live right now. He knows me and the trials in my life. He loves me so much. I'm so grateful for that knowledge.

Heavenly Father knows what's best for all of us. I had no idea how much this Girls Camp would change my life. He knows better than me. I hope that I was able to be a light to the girls at camp too. All of the youth leaders sang a song that really touched my heart. It's called Someone Needs Your Star.

Do you know 
That God designed you to glow
And you hold the Father's promise in your soul
You may be just a light in the sky
You are enough to light up the darkest night

Someone needs your star
Someone needs the light you have inside
So rise up high
You were meant to shine 
And never hide
Spread your good works wide and far
Someone needs your star

Someone needs one simple light
To bring them hope
You may feel small
But you hold more goodness than you know
Desperately someone's reaching to find
A beacon of strength
That they can hold on to tonight

Someone needs your star
Someone needs the light you have inside
So rise up high
You were meant to shine 
And never hide
Spread your good works wide and far
Someone needs your star

I love these girls!!!

Me and Makensey! I LOVE HER SO MUCH! It was the last day... don't judge my appearance... :)

Some of my 3rd years :)

Cuties ;)

I <3 ward time

Beautiful girls!!

One of my girls wrote out, "I <3 MY YLs" on the ground. :')

Youth Leaders

I have grown so much this past week! I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and His love for me.

Also, I added a quote to the top of my blog. It's by Joseph B. Wirthlin. I was reading this AMAZING woman's blog a few weeks ago and I saw she had posted this quote. I love it so much and I think it applies very well to my situation. "Come what may, and love it."