Nineteen

Well, another two weeks have gone by! This week is my 5th week. That is crazy to me...because it feels like I have been here for half a century. Time for a break? Yeah! Except for we don't have a break  for another 37 days. So that stinks!

This semester is really overwhelming. I'm going to try better to blog every week, (this is only the second post of the semester...whoops!) buuuut we'll see how that goes.



Week 3:

I really don't have a whole lot to say about week 3, haha. Pretty uneventful! Pizza Pie Cafe...It snowed, but come on, that was no surprise! Photo shoot for my humanities class...Sleepover in the living room. GENERAL CONFERENCE! That was great. So great! It was weird not being at home for general conference, but it was still just as good. I love that I go to a school where all of my roommates have the same beliefs as me. It is way cool that I was able to sit in our living room and watch it with all of them and talk about what the speakers were saying. Good week!

Week 4:

Well, the most wonderful day of the year was this week! ...My birthday! :) I'm 19 now. That's weird. It's probably not weird to you guys, but this is the oldest I've ever been! Haha. And it's my last year of being a teenager. I'm getting old! Ahh. 

So, I woke up early and made myself breakfast! I don't think I've ever had to make myself breakfast on my birthday before. So that was weird. Then I headed off to school! I don't really know/talk to anyone in my math class, but then in my humanities class, my friends had everyone sing Happy Birthday to me! I was super embarrassed and my face got as red as a tomato, but it sure made me feel special! Then I came home to find this:

My roommate bought me presents, balloons, flowers, and wrote me some really sweet notes. Then my Daddy sent me these beautiful flowers! It made me so happy. I burst into tears and I could not stop crying. Now, last year on my birthday, I was crying too, but they weren't happy tears. My 18th birthday was probably one of the hardest days of my life. None of my friends in Indiana remembered (except for my friend Regina who gave me a Rice Krispie Treat at lunch!), and I just felt so lonely. Everyone wants to be remembered on their birthday! Constant tears all day. But my family is wonderful and ended up making it a really special day. I am so grateful for them! Anyways, part of the reason I was crying this year was because I was because I was so grateful for my wonderful friends and roommates who did so much to make it one of the most special birthdays I have ever had! I felt so loved. I seriously have the best friends ever. I really don't know if they will ever understand how much I appreciated all they did for me! I love them so so much!

I didn't get a chance to take any pictures of this because I was just way too excited to open it, but my family sent me a huge package with 19 things in it! 

1. A card

2. A recorder (yeah, I don't know!)

3. Hot chocolate

4. Cheesecake mix

5. Lotion

6. Baby Lips

7. Stress Relief Hand Sanitizer (haha!)

8. And Indiana University shirt

9. A mirror for my bathroom (bye-bye crazy eyebrows!)

10. Monsters University eye ball candy (Can you guess who that was from?)

11. Airborne (Thanks Dad! Haha)

12. Fuzzy socks

13. Zone Bars (I can't buy them here and they're my favorite!!)

14. A dollar from Ashton (see picture below)

15. Toothpaste

16. Gum

17. An iTunes gift card 

18. Mio for water

19. The flowers from my Daddy!

So thoughtful of them! I got to FaceTime with them too, which was so fun! It's my first birthday away from home--which was really weird. I wish I could've just given them all a big hug! I'm so grateful for them. 

After that, we had cupcakes that Coley made for me! Then we went to Winger's for dinner. I got Chicken & Waffles and it was magical. Don't doubt it until you down it. My roommates sang to me in the restaurant and then they gave me an "Asphalt Pie" to go. Funny story, when we were walking to the car, I dropped it. On the asphalt. 

Right after that we went to go get ready for our 5K "Glow Run" on campus. Ya know, I was expecting a lot more glow and a lot less run! But it was way fun! My roommates and I were being crazy and just goofed off the whole time. Good stuff! 

Then we went to go see the movie Gravity. I would highly suggest this movie if you really love being stressed out. 

Nahiomi got me this super awesome hat.

Everyone please enjoy Coley's face. 

Elyse blew up all of these balloons! I LOVE BALLOONS. (Thanks boo!!)

So basically I am extremely blessed and extremely grateful for everyone that made my day so special. I LOVE YOU ALL. :) 

On Saturday, we went wedding dress shopping for my roommate Haley!! I am so excited for her. I started crying when she found her dress. Haha. She is going to be the most beautiful bride in the whole world! I love her so much! Also, her friend Katie drove up from Salt Lake to come shopping with us, so it was great to see her!

We went to the Haunted Straw Maze. You know, there are many reasons why my roommates call me Baby Spice. Poor Katie and Nahiomi had to put up with me through that whole thing! Sorry bout that! Here's us with our new friend:

Well, until next time. 

And remember, "it's better to look up!"

Here We Go Again | Happily Ever After

So there's two parts to my post today. The first part is just about how school is going for me this semester. The second part is more inspirational I guess. So you can choose which you want to read. Or you could read both. Or none of them...

PART I

As I've been reminiscing about these first few weeks back at school, I've been thinking to myself, "IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO WEEKS?" I feel like I've been here for at least two months. Haha. Man. It's going to be a long semester! But a good one. 

This semester has already been one heck of an adventure. 

I'm taking 14 credits this semester:

-Book of Mormon (2nd half)

-Math for the Real World

-Humanities

-General Psychology

-Visual Media

I'm really enjoying my classes so far--for the most part! They are way more challenging than my classes last semester and I'm finding that I have much, much more homework. Like pretty much that is all I've been doing for the past two weeks. I think my first semester was more of an adjustment semester and now things are getting really serious. Haha. I really do love my classes and teachers though. It so amazing to me that I can feel the Spirit in all of my classes. I think that is my most favorite thing about this school. I feel so blessed! I love BYU-Idaho and I'm so happy to be back. 

I have three of the same roommates as last semester which I'm so happy about because I love them to death. Then we have two new additions to our apartment! Coley, my actual roommate, is from my stake in Indiana! She is such a sweetheart and I'm so, so happy she is one of my roommates. She has a blog too! Go check it out if you get a chance. :) Click here. Then we also have Alexa! She is so fun! I'm excited to get to know her and Coley more. OH! My other roommate Haley is ENGAGED! We all knew it was going to happen, but we all freaked out majorly when she showed up the first week and had a ring on her finger! I am so happy for her. It is an incredible experience to watch one two people fall in love! They are precious and they are so perfect for each other. They are getting married in December and me and the other "spice girls" are going to be bridesmaids. I can't wait!

Hmm, what else...what else... Oh! So last semester I was the "Ward Sacrament Meeting Greeter," so I handed out the ward bulletins. This semester I'm the "Ward Bulletin Specialist," so now I make the bulletins. I'm moving up in the world! Haha. It's a lot more work than I thought it would be. Respect for  the Ward Bulletin Specialists. Ha! It's good practice for my visual media class too--which is great! I've really been enjoying my ward. I'm in the same ward as last semester, but there are obviously new people in the ward and they all seem to be great. I feel like everyone's a little more friendly this semester. So that is something to look forward to!

The devotionals we've had so far this semester have been so wonderful! The first week, President Clark (president of the university) and his wife spoke. Then this past week, Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve came and spoke. What a blessing that was! I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I love being a student at BYU-Idaho. It is crazy to me how much I have learned and grown since I've been here. I know without a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be at this time in my life. 

A few months ago, my roommate Haley asked if I wanted to be on her Temple to Temple Relay team. (Rexburg Temple to the Idaho Falls Temple...40 miles) I've been completely dreading it for the longest time because I am not a good runner. At all. AKA...I 100% did not inherit the same genes as my beast of an aunt-- RUN EMZ--who just did her SECOND 24 hour run a few weeks ago. Umm yeah. I was dying after about 24 seconds, so how she is able to run for 24 hours, I will never know. 

I did 3.5 miles. I was literally dead at the end. But I feel so accomplished now! ...and sore. I'm so glad I did it!

I guess that's all as far as life updates go! Now for pictures and a little inspirational thought...I guess you could call it. 

This picture is from last week when Coley cleaned my half of the room after a very stressful day. Such a freakin' sweetheart!

Rexburg is one freakin' beautiful place. 

I loved this camel until it head-butted me in the butt. 

PART II

Today's Relief Society lesson may have been the best one I personally have ever had. I'm sure a lot of you have seen my "Confidence" post. But if you haven't, I'll just try to sum it up really quick. 

Basically, I don't have very much confidence. It's been something I've been struggling with for a very long time. Over the past few months I have been trying really hard to not think any negative thoughts about myself. It's a process! I'm still learning. But anyways, the lesson today was on President Uchtdorf's talk, "Your Happily Ever After." PLEASE take 20 minutes to watch this. I promise you will not regret it. 

As part of the lesson, we watched these two videos:

"Jessica's Daily Affirmation"

"Who You Are: A Message To All Women"

So inspiring! 

While we were watching the second one, I started thinking about growing up and it reminded me of one of my favorite songs of all time, "What Heaven Sees In You."The song basically talks about how there are three really important dresses you will wear in your life: your blessing dress, your baptism dress, and your wedding dress. You should just listen to the song, because what I'm saying will make a lot more sense if you do. It really makes you think deeply about your life. Haha. Also, I have a bunch of polaroid pictures of me from when I was little hung up on my wall over my bed, so I've really been thinking a lot about my childhood the past couple of weeks. Life is so incredible and so precious. And it goes by way too fast. I don't want to grow up :( Anyways... it's just crazy to think about life. I can't believe I'm almost 19 and in college. I know that's really not that old, but this is a big time in my life! Lots of changes and lots of decisions going on right now. 

Ah, my thoughts are so scattered right now and I'm getting pretty tired of being on the computer. So my apologies if this makes no sense! 

We talked a lot about how we all have hard times and trials. We all have negative thoughts about ourselves. But we need to realize who these negative thoughts are coming from. They are from the adversary and they are NOT true. Your Heavenly Father sees you as His precious and beloved daughter and he wants you so badly to see yourself the way that He sees you.  

Then we listened to a song by Jenny Phillips called "Happily Ever After"

Once upon a time
A child was born into this life
Heaven could be seen in her eyes
There was no doubt she was divine
And if you are still you will feel the truth
That the princess in this wondrous story is you

It's your time
It's your destiny to shine
So arise
Be true to the royal
That's inside of you
Don't settle for the story that
The world would have you write
You were born to reach eternal life
Let faith fill every chapter
Let the Savior lead you to
Happily ever after

Sometimes in your life
The world will cast a spell
And try to make your conscience fall asleep
And forget the woman God would have you be
But if you are still you will understand
The noble role you play in his plan

It's your time
It's your destiny to shine
So arise
Be true to the royal
That's inside of you
Don't settle for the story that
The world would have you write
You were born to reach eternal life
Let faith fill every chapter
Let the Savior lead you to
Happily ever after

When the forests fills with darkness
And wolves seek your soul
Just know
You are simply in the place between
Your once upon a time and your triumph in the end

It's your time
It's your destiny to shine
So arise
Be true to the royal
That's inside of you
Don't settle for the story that
The world would have you write
You were born to reach eternal life
Let faith fill every chapter
Let the Savior lead you to
Happily ever after

I was just so inspired by this lesson. 

Then I came home and took a nap. I had one of the most incredible dreams I have ever had. I have heard so many stories of people having inspired dreams and I really just had not ever experienced anything like that. But I did today! I won't go into all of the details because I was kind of personal, but basically, I saw myself growing up. I saw myself as a baby, then a toddler, then so on and so forth... It was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced! It felt real. So real. And I felt so much love. Life really is precious. Enjoy every second of it. I love my life! I am so grateful.

I love the Gospel so much. I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father so much. 

Alright, that's all for now! I'm pretty pooped. :) Have a great week everyone!

Also, Happy Birthday to the most wonderful, hard-working, loving man I've ever known! I love my Daddy so much!!!

Confidence...

...I wish I could say that I have a lot...but I don't. And it is hard. It is really hard. 

My high school years were not the easiest for many reasons--but I'd have to say that this is the biggest reason. And right now, I really can't say that I have that much more confidence than I did in high school, but I'm working on it!

* I've been rewriting this post over and over the past few weeks because I don't want people to think that I'm depressed or anything, because that's not the case. And I also don't want people to think that I'm trying to get attention from this. Honestly, there's probably only four people that will end up reading this anyways. Haha. I probably wouldn't want to read this either if I were you! I just really haven't ever opened up to many people about this and I thought it might be good to let it all out. So here we go. 

I'm just going to be really blunt: I wish I felt better about the way I look. 

I think this all started in high school--there were so many changes going on in my life and I was just trying to figure myself out. I started comparing myself to others and it was completely tearing me apart! I remember seeing girls in the hallways at school and thinking things like, "I wish my hair was as pretty as her's." "I wish I had pretty eyes like her." "I wish my nose was more like her's." And so on...

Since then, I have learned that "comparison is the thief of joy." I have spent SO much time comparing myself to others. It is completely pointless. Absolutely, entirely, completely pointless. So what if that girl has prettier hair than me? So what if she has prettier eyes? So what if she has a cute little nose and I don't? 

It literally doesn't matter--at all.

I have spent countless hours looking at myself in the mirror pointing out things about myself that I wish I could change, but I can't. 

My nose

My hips

My boobs

My smile

My cheeks

My eyes

My hair

My eyebrows

My ears

...the list goes on and on. 

I'm going to learn to love...

My nostrils the size of Africa

My huge hips

My huge boobs

My squinty smile

My chubby cheeks

My brown eyes

My insane hair

My crazy eyebrows

My little baby ears

Now on the flip side of that, there are some things I can change. I'm going to be honest here...I've gained about 15-20 pounds since I moved to Indiana. And that is not okay. The move here was hard and there were many times when I was sad and lonely and I thought the only thing I could do to make me feel better was to eat food. I seriously was eating all the time. I ate when I was sad, bored, lonely, mad, happy...basically I was just always eating. 

I realize I'm not overweight and I don't need any dramatic weight loss. What I do need is to be healthy and fit again. And the good news is, I'm on my way! I think what was stopping me all of this time was that I didn't think I could do it and I thought it would be too hard. I have spent so many nights crying myself to sleep because I did not feel good about myself at all, but I wasn't willing to take action! All I did was sit there and feel sorry for myself. Well, newsflash Lauren... 

Nothing's gonna change unless you do something about it!

So, I got a gym membership a few weeks ago and am proud to say that have not missed a day since I got it! I have been pretty successful at "eating clean" as they call it, and I already feel so much better! Junk food just doesn't seem as appealing anymore--in fact, it makes me sick. They say it is 70% diet, 30% gym, and 100% dedication. And let me just say...I have never been so dedicated and so motivated to do something in my whole life! I am so ready to become a better me and have more confidence. Every step I take is for every tear I've shed. I've found that when I work out, I do feel better about myself and I don't focus the flaws I have--I focus on what I have achieved. I'm not perfect and I know that I will never be, but I just want to be the best me that I can be. I can already see that a healthier, more confident Lauren is on her way! 

And NOTHING is going to stop me. 

So, here I go on my road to hotness.

I realize that this is a trial that Heavenly Father wants me to have. It's been a rough journey, but I am grateful for it. He knows me and He knows what I am going through, and He is always there to help. 

In the end, looks really don't matter at all, because you're a child of God. 

"She understood who she was because she understood WHOSE she was." -Elaine S. Dalton

If you still have a minute, watch this video. You will not be disappointed that you did. 

Our True Identity  

Well, that's all. I hope you're having a happy Sunday! :)

Happy Days

Well, my first semester of college has been over for a few weeks now. I had a little bit of a break from blogging, but I thought I should write this post sooner than later because I don't want any memories slipping away. 

The past four months have been the best of my life. 

Now, I'm not saying that everything has been perfect in the past four months. That would be completely inaccurate. It's been full of heartache, drama, hard work, lots of tears, the list goes on and on. Life is never going to be perfect. But I am pretty content with how my life has turned out to be as a student at BYU-Idaho. It's still crazy to me how I'm in college. Ah!

I really didn't know what to expect. This was my first time being away from home and I just didn't know how capable I was of handling everything that going to college involves. 

It was an adjustment living on my own. Not only that, but living with five girls. The only girl I've ever lived with is my mom. And my mom doesn't cause a lot of drama. Haha. So I guess I really didn't know what I was in for. Although we didn't all get along perfectly, I was really blessed to have the roommates that I did and I've learned so much through the experience. I got really close to three of the girls in my apartment. We went on trips together and just had a really great time! They will be in my apartment next semester as well as two new girls! My friend Coley from my stake here in Indiana and another girl named Alexa, who I haven't met yet. I'm super excited!

As far as dating goes...I'm not going to go into much detail. Sorry. Haha but I have had opportunities this semester to go on dates with some really great guys and have had a ton of fun. ...annnnd that's all I have to say about that. Haha.

You can go anywhere to get an education. But it's not at every school that you can feel the Holy Ghost in all of your classes. That was the most amazing thing about BYU-Idaho. My teachers always had the Spirit with them and I learned something to build up my character every day. Devotionals were great too! They always seemed to pick me up when I was feeling down.

Well, get ready to scroll though over a hundred pictures. Here was my first semester at BYU-Idaho:

  

I can't wait for another semester. I'm so grateful to be a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho.